Robert Hansen posted Mar 6, 2013 9:40 AM (GSC's responses interspersed): > > On Mar 5, 2013, at 10:11 PM, GS Chandy > <email@example.com> wrote: > > > But "ALLOW" ??!!! > > > > Would you perhaps get a police officer to prevent > the daughter/son from taking the course? You'd need > a court order first, of course. > > Believe it or not, good and strong parents have a lot > more influence (control) than you think. > I 100% buy the idea of the 'influence' that parents could exert on their children's minds (and hearts, and spirits). Such influence is, I believe, one of the most powerful motivators for good or ill that a child or young person could be exposed to - at least as strong as or stronger than (if but parents properly realised it) the 'influence of peers, teachers, police, whatever. But it is very few parents indeed that properly understand this.
But "influence" DOES NOT EQUAL "control" (IMHO; at least in the sense I get of the word 'control'. I'm entirely AGAINST control in this sense, strongly FOR 'influence'). > >I grew up in > an impoverished and dysfunctional home and witnessed > all that it wrought on my siblings. I have no > tolerance left in me at all for the school of hard > knocks and I see no indication whatsoever of my son's > adolescence ending in a manner as foolish as is > detailed in that piece. I am not unique in this and I > am sure that even though you don't care to admit it, > you and Lou ... > I'm pretty certain that you have misunderstood Lou's and my remarks about "ALLOW". > > ... have both witnessed many kids, other > people's kids of course, that seem to be fortunate in > that regard. They seem much more immune to the > pitfalls of immaturity and youthful ignorance. That > does not happen by chance. > > Bob Hansen > Well, my claim is that it is today (to a pretty fair, not total, extent) possible to understand how to accomplish much of this through better understanding of 'systems' ('family systems'; 'societal systems'; 'teaching+learning systems'; 'systems of personal and societal influences'; and so on).
The powerful concept of 'systems' is (I claim) NOT understood adequately by most of us in society today (not even by a great many 'systems' people!!!) to our great impoverishment.
Also check out Anna Roys' recent post at this very thread for some very useful insights on 'learning+teaching' - and this also includes sound 'systems insights'** on the idea of 'influence' Vs. 'control' [in the sense I have of those two words]. (I have also responded to Anna Roys, but this has not yet appeared).
** probably gained without formally using 'systems science'