In article <firstname.lastname@example.org>, "Bob Pease" <email@example.com> wrote:
> "Philip Baker" <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote in message > news://+gwn6TAH21h+Ewc6@thalasson.com... > > In article <email@example.com>, Rudolf > > <firstname.lastname@example.org> writes > > >You may enjoy this paradox: If the Greek god Zeus can do any thing, > > >can he make a thing which he can not lift? > > > > God suspends the rules of logic and lifts it while simultaneously being > > unable to lift it. > > Philip Baker gets sent to Saturday Morning Detention with Bro. O'Crazy for > being a wiseass in class. > ): > > RJ P
* You think Philip Baker was a wiseass?
When I was about eight years old, we were required to memorize a bible verse (Methodist Sunday School, Birmingham, Alabama). We could pick any verse we wanted.
Most of the lazy kids I knew chose: "Jesus wept."
Being more of a wiseass, I chose Isaiah 36:12.
"But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?"
What do you think happened to me after I stood up and recited this verse at the age of eight?
Well, if you guessed the shit hit the fan, you would be very close.
My mother died in embarassment. My father giggled, nudged me with his elbow, and said, "Good work!"
And the preacher said I was to go home and ask forgiveness for my blatant sins.
My conversion to atheism began about that time.
"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me."