The entire head of Archimedes Plutonium exploded yesterday in a freak accident at a men's halfway house in Hanover, NH
Apparently "Archie Poo" had been recently started posting three, four, and even more content-free messages to various "newsgroups"; at the same time, a rag-tag group of misfit Usenet "trolls" were posting inane responses to these blithering missives. The typical troll is a pale, pimply teenager who has no friends and spends all his time indoors, browsing the Internet with one hand while furiously pounding his pathetic *** with the other. After one too many calls for A.P. to "sod off" and "eat a ***-sack", his head finally exploded.
This unprecedented violent cranial breakdown was most likely caused when, in response to yet another coma-inducing post about circles, or pi, or e, or integers, or angles, or tangents, or infinity, or polygons, or logs, or spirals, whatever, someone, somewhere followed up with an (unverified) claim that Archimedes Plutonium is a "big stupid head".
Upon viewing this filthy libelous violently pornographic insult, Archipelago Polonium began to tremble violently, staring wide-eyed and unbelievingly at the glowing monitor. Shocked witnesses report seeing Archibald Platoonius frothing mightily at the mouth, turning many bright colors in the face, and making hideous garbling noises, not unlike those of a wild boar or small toddler being sodomized with a red-hot poker.
Giant Radioactive Easter Bunny, Arpheggio's daytime psychiatric handler, describes what happened next. "Well his god-durn head exploded - Jesus F%$#@! Christ on a stick!". Apparently the strain of so many insults was too much for the puppy-hurting, jaywalking, trailer- dwelling fried-chicken-neck gobbling dog- porking pus-encrusted urine-soaked cross-eyed syphilitic gap-toothed loser, and his head sickeningly burst open, showering horrified onlookers with blood, hair, bone fragments, skin, teeth, and assorted morsels of warm, moist, unspeakable gore.
So far, crime lab technicians have not located any brain particles in the grisly aftermath, leading to speculation that Archimedes Plutonium may not have had a brain before the sickening explosion. Rumors that Archangel Porrigium's skull cavity was originally packed with chimpanzee knuckles, fetid dingo kidneys, and/or dog feces were unconfirmed as of this writing.