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Topic: Archimedes Plutonium's head explodes!
Replies: 4   Last Post: Mar 5, 2014 3:55 AM

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Major Doctor

Posts: 3
Registered: 3/3/14
Archimedes Plutonium's head explodes!
Posted: Mar 3, 2014 9:35 PM
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The entire head of Archimedes Plutonium exploded yesterday
in a freak accident at a men's halfway house in Hanover, NH

Apparently "Archie Poo" had been recently started posting
three, four, and even more content-free messages to
various "newsgroups"; at the same time, a rag-tag group of
misfit Usenet "trolls" were posting inane responses
to these blithering missives. The typical troll is a
pale, pimply teenager who has no friends and spends
all his time indoors, browsing the Internet with one hand
while furiously pounding his pathetic *** with the other.
After one too many calls for A.P. to "sod off" and "eat
a ***-sack", his head finally exploded.

This unprecedented violent cranial breakdown was
most likely caused when, in response to yet another
coma-inducing post about circles, or pi, or e, or
integers, or angles, or tangents, or infinity, or polygons,
or logs, or spirals, whatever, someone, somewhere
followed up with an (unverified) claim that
Archimedes Plutonium is a "big stupid head".

Upon viewing this filthy libelous violently pornographic
insult, Archipelago Polonium began to tremble violently,
staring wide-eyed and unbelievingly at the glowing
monitor. Shocked witnesses report seeing
Archibald Platoonius frothing mightily at the mouth, turning
many bright colors in the face, and making hideous garbling
noises, not unlike those of a wild boar or small toddler
being sodomized with a red-hot poker.

Giant Radioactive Easter Bunny, Arpheggio's daytime
psychiatric handler, describes what happened next. "Well
his god-durn head exploded - Jesus F%$#@! Christ
on a stick!". Apparently the strain of so many insults
was too much for the puppy-hurting, jaywalking, trailer-
dwelling fried-chicken-neck gobbling dog-
porking pus-encrusted urine-soaked cross-eyed syphilitic
gap-toothed loser, and his head sickeningly burst open,
showering horrified onlookers with blood, hair, bone
fragments, skin, teeth, and assorted morsels of warm,
moist, unspeakable gore.

So far, crime lab technicians have not located any brain
particles in the grisly aftermath, leading to speculation that
Archimedes Plutonium may not have had a brain before the
sickening explosion. Rumors that Archangel Porrigium's
skull cavity was originally packed with chimpanzee
knuckles, fetid dingo kidneys, and/or dog feces were
unconfirmed as of this writing.

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